Often I am off the beam when it comes to “no” and “knowing”.
I can see when a power greater than I must grab a box of popcorn and watch the know show.
It’s clear I’m being routed the opposite direction and here I am trying to re-arrange the strange. I love the odd.
Let’s just give it another go. It’s clear to me in writing that I create all forms of letting go. It’s that whole “Are you a quitter, Kelly? Come on get back here and take it like a champ! My Rocky mentality continues to climb back in the ring and prance around, shuffling my feet. It actually is it’s own remake.
I look forward to the day when I am presented with the belt and I quietly say, “I’m sorry, the belt just doesn’t fit me anymore.”
It’s simply this: I often think because I don’t physically get beat and outwardly I don’t look worse for wear I’m not actually fighting. Resistance is actually manifesting discomfort and that is it’s own glorious invitation to another level of understanding myself.
The gifts of grace… an honor has been bestowed on me to look within, to see myself in others and really, that is my inner struggle. When I give up on you, I believe I’m giving up on me. Knowing the difference is always a balancing act for me… until I can dismount the know from the no, I will continue to carry it.
As I referee this match within myself, I continue to become aware. The question I must ask of myself is, “What are you getting out of this?” The answer is only I don’t know when I don’t want to be told no.