Premature Indignation~

It happens. My Dad, use to say, “If you’re so happy, why don’t you tell it to your face?” Always funny when he was making a quip at someone else. When directed towards me, wow, “put the burn.”  He was very quick-witted and just plain funny. I am my father’s daughter indeed. Once swift to form an opinion and sudden to feel badly for that shortcoming and so slow on the withdrawal. Oh, I would spend endless hours with him, sometimes by choice, other times because I am his namesake. He was tall, dark and handsome, charismatic, and just bigger than life. He was my magnet. It has always lead back to Daddy. I can wish all I want to be like my mother, for she was the presence of the creator in human form. Grace in motion, Wind-walker personified. It was to high a mountain to climb to be gentle like she was. So my heart, happiness and passion belonged to my Dad. The absolute of it all. I watched his every move, with her, her every breath. I can, to this day be so still and in my head, he will lead me. Now, finally I find myself at another awareness, letting go, yet again. Am I really a product of my environment? Or is that a way of absolving my actions. My truth is this until I let go and let Glenda, I am stuck in being like Glen and not authentic me. Today, my inclination was just to get out and run until I could hardly breathe. I embraced an old hurt in GrandKit form. It simply is not my story and I will not project mine on her, she is too pure, as am I. This is not a good-bye to my father, this is just a “Hello” to me. I love you, Dad.  Accepting and forgiving, is my truth. Contempt prior to investigation has been carefully replaced with overdue empathy and the timing has me perfectly satisfied.

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